This list is dedicated to those similar to my boy pictured here to the right. You know, the ones with the hairstyles that leave you wondering, “what the f@#% is he thinking?” Without further ado, here are Club Seat’s Top 5 Players With The Worst Hair In The NFL.
5. Robert Gallery
I’m not too sure what Gallery is going for here, but he looks like a cross between Weird Al Yankovic and The Undertaker. That’s never a good thing. I guess being a lineman somewhat helps his case, though, since they aren’t known to be people who are easy on the eyes.
4. A.J. Hawk
Hawk’s style wouldn’t be so bad if it didn’t make him look like a child molester. Since that’s exactly what it does, he needs to do something… quickly.
3. Atari Bigby
Sadly, Bigby makes the second Packer on the list, with Clay Matthews being an honorable mention. It looks like Head Coach Mike McCarthy needs to make a new policy pretty soon. I’m a big fan of dreads, just not Bigby’s. His look more like rat tails/worms. Hey, at least he has a cool name.
2. Domata Peko
Peko is a guy that makes people around the world say these two things to themselves: A) his hair has to stink — there’s just no way around it. B), he must use at least a bottle of shampoo during each of his showers. Sometimes I watch him and find myself just waiting for things to come flying out of his hair (i.e. bats, baloney sandwiches, crowbars, etc.).
1. Troy Polamalu
Seriously, Troy, enough is enough. This was cool like ten years ago when people referred to you as “that guy from USC with the crazy hair.” Now it’s just annoying. I can probably think of a couple reasons to get rid of it. Let’s see. Uh, you have children. It also makes you look like some sort of woman I wouldn’t touch with a broom, which kind of scares me.
Note to everyone on this list: please invest in a haircut.