I’m well aware of the nationwide abuse of Tim Tebow stories, but here’s another. Aside from the obvious reason of him being better than your QB, here are the top 10 reasons why you gotta love him.
10. He’s the only guy that could get a grown man to hold his mother on national television.
This was while Tebow was motionless on the ground after receiving a concussion in Kentucky.
9. He’s a virgin.
That girl you brought home from the bar the other night? Yeah, you can thank Tebow. If he didn’t still have the V-Card, there would be thousands of guys not getting laid out there.
8. He’ll circumcise your son for that discount, of uh, on the house.
Tebow spent a spring break in the Philippines and helped circumcise children. Forget your doctor, give #15 a call. That way your son can look back years from now and feel honored to say that Tim Tebow himself snipped his Johnson.
7. Not only does Florida beat up on Ohio State, Tebow out-sweater vests Jim Tressel.
This was at the ESPY’s where Tebow decided to show up Tressel with the pink gear.
6. He shares a bond with Mike Ditka and Mel Kiper that not many people can experience.
Doesn’t matter if Tebow just threw a touchdown pass or if he’s suited up for an event. The hair remains intact. The same can be said for Mike Ditka and Mel Kiper, whose hair can withstand anything Mother Nature decides to throw their way.
5. He’s mentioned in a song by rapper Lil’ Wayne.
Lil’ Wayne – D.O.A. — “Yeah, young Nino n****, do it for my team Tim Tebow n****.” Two minutes and six seconds in for those wanting to listen. Explicit language, though, just a heads up.
4. You can’t hate a religious dude that doesn’t get in trouble.
Sports Illustrated seems to agree.
3. Superman AND Chuck Norris wear Tim Tebow pajamas to bed.
I promise this is the only one.
2. He can pick up random babies and do Heisman poses at will.
One baby, OK. Two? Now we might be getting a little carried away and flirting with disaster. I’ve seen him fumble before so I know it can happen.
1. He’s arguably the greatest player in college football history.
2x BCS Champion, Heisman, 2x All-American, AP Player of the Year, 2x Maxwell, 2x ESPY, NCAA QB of the Year, Manning Award, Sporting News Player of the Year, SEC Offensive Player of the Year, All-Time SEC Rushing TD Leader.